TESTIMONIES

 

-Amber Wright

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or worse. At 19 years old I was at a pretty bad place. I knew enough “churchy” words to know conviction. I called the pastor I grew up with and made an appointment. Thinking I would talk to him and he would give me some advise and things would get better. The Lord had other plans! On February 3, 1983 in the pastors office at Trinity Nazarene Church the Lord saved me. When I left I took the cigarettes and the speed out of my purse. I took the marijuana out of the glove box. I took the whiskey out of my trunk and threw it all away. The Lord was now able to use me and mold me for His glory. I have had ups and downs but I am so grateful my God pulled me out of that bad place and allows me to serve and praise a loving God!! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Love you TBC family

-Barbara Strickland

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 In my testimony I can’t say that I was saved while in a gang or involved with the occult or anything crazy like that .It is basically about like a lot of the folks testimonies on here.
I was raised in the Methodist church till my teenage years. I was involved in all the activities that the kids were involved in. Had all the perfect attendance pins.. We went through a class in the Methodist church. After we finished the class , wa la we were saved. I held on to that moment till I was 16ish. We had started going to keys baptist by that time. It was during a evening service I realized I was not saved during the alter call. I can’t even explain the overwhelming feeling that I have got to get to Chris (the pastor) I went forward and accepted Jesus as my Savior. I have had many ups and downs throughout my journey. Strayed for a few years. But finally managed to get my rear in gear and get back into church. I still struggle a lot with the evil one telling me I shouldn’t enjoy doing things I am doing if i were saved but I keep telling him i got my spot so back off. Does anyone else struggle with that or am I the only weird one? That’s my story.

-Richard Sam

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d Christ and I’ll never forget the first Sunday I attended church there the Holy Spirit was so strong which I had never felt before everyone was so nice I loved it! I never knew u could have a relationship with God! Right after that I started having panic attacks and struggled with anxiety and depression! The devil has used that the steal my joy and I struggle with my salvation constantly but I always go back to the first time! I’m so thankful my friend stayed after me. I love God and have been blessed so much!

-Tracy Parson

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 I gave my life to Jesus at 14 yrs old while at a weekend retreat with the youth group from FBC, Muskogee. I can still remember the physical feeling of weight being lifted off of me and my attitude and thoughts about people changing. And I stayed right there as that baby Christian–weak, powerless, and “tossed about by every wave” (Eph 4:14) for 10 more years. I attended church through Jr High and High School, but I depended on all the “externals” to keep me upright in my walk–being around Christian friends, going to church…I was not feeding myself through reading my Bible on my own (only for Sunday School lessons or while I was at church), only prayed while I was in a service or for “something big,” and my growth was stunted. Needless to say, after High School when friends are gone to other schools and states and the youth group is over and I was in “big church” all by myself, I had nothing internal that was mature enough to digest what was going on. So, my “every time the doors are open” turned into only Sundays and then only Sunday mornings and then, eventually, disappeared all together. By the time I moved to Kansas to attend graduate school I wasn’t attending church at all, never read my Bible (although I did keep it out on my nightstand and dusted it because I was embarrassed to let other people see it dusty), and didn’t pray at all–except for the occassional “let me pass this test” prayer. I didn’t run off the rails and join a gang or turn into a terrible person or anything, but I was becoming more and more miserable and recognized myself less and less as a Christian. In 2000 I graduated, moved back to Muskogee, and got married. At my wedding, my mother-in-law said, with tears in her eyes, “We have prayed for a long time for Mike to find a good, Christian woman to marry and are so happy that God answered that prayer.” I remember feeling like such a sham. I was anything but a good Christian woman. I was back-slidden and miserable and I didn’t really know what to do, but I knew that the last time I was truly satisfied with life was when I was in High School and in church all the time. At the end of 2000 some friends and my in-laws had started attending Timothy, so I went and “gave it one try.” I knew immediately that I needed to be in that atmosphere–I was comfortable, happy, and felt truly at peace. At first, I thought it was the church or the people, but now I realize it was the Holy Spirit. We are so blessed to feel the Spirit at our services and need to recognize that it is Him, not us because we’re so friendly or great, that draws people and gives that peace. In January of 2001 I wrote my first-ever New Year’s resolution that I would attend church at least twice a month (that still makes me smile). And, I have kept that resolution since then, but it’s all different now. Through the Word presented in services and the classes at TBC I learned that I needed to start growing. I needed to feed myself the Word every day, talk with God every day, and then the externals become something that is a result of the internal drive and not the other way around. God has grown me so much since that first visit to TBC and I have so much more growth to go. I can’t express the sadness that it brings to my heart when I see my brothers and sisters in Christ struggling through that mediocre, powerless experience when life in Christ can be so strong and overwhelmingly wonderful. I also can’t tell you how I wish I had started on this path at 14 instead of waiting until I was 25. I have scrapes and scars from my time in the wilderness that God didn’t want me to have, but they are there and I try to learn from them and work to overcome them as the “new creation” God intends me to be. If I had to sum my testimony up in one sentence, it would be what my 8th grade science teacher told us on the first day of school: Mediocrity is not acceptable.

-Joan McWilliams

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My testimony is super long. sorry once I got started it kept coming, first time I wrote it out..
John Bradford is said to have penned the phrase, “There but for the grace of God, go I,” I have adopted that phrase to sum up my walk with God during my life. My road to accept God’s grace was a long one. My mother was a non-practicing Catholic and my father a non-practicing Baptist. Religion was not discussed in our home with the exception of the occasional Easter when mom used the holiday as an excuse to buy us a cute outfit and take us to mass. I believe the only true stretch of church attendance for me as a child was when we were stationed in the Philippines. Our maid/sitter took me to mass several times a week in a little neighborhood tagologe speaking church. I never had that “Leave it to Beaver Family.” My father was in the Navy and was gone nine months out of the year. My mother had her “social” groups which included the women out clubbing while I babysat my sister and several others. In those days we were basically allowed to do whatever as long as mom wasn’t bothered. It was not unusual for us to be on our own till 3 in the morning. My mother always called her and dad social alcoholics. Actually to be honest mother’s entire family were alcoholics. My uncles started their day with a cold beer, the hair of the dog. There was a period when I was 13 that I became involved with a coven in Florida. Me and several of my “sisters” would do spell work and cast. I remember one spell that we cast on a girl we all hated, she was mean and we decided to get even. The spell worked and she became ill. Evil is a strong source, I still tremble remembering how we felt, the power knowing that we could seek revenge. I cannot believe we fell for Satan and his pull. I left the coven after that, it was a dark time for me, young yes but you are never too young to understand that God is the right path and the road of Satan is wrong.
When we moved to Oklahoma I was 14. I hated this place and felt like I was transported to another world in which I did not belong, talk about small town America, I had landed in it. The first real church and I mean real church, experience I had was thanks to my “Okie” grandma Goldie. My Redheaded and a hardcore Christian grandma had one rule; you spend the night Saturday you go to church Sunday! I remember one time I said that I didn’t want to go, she drug me physically out of that bed and told me to get dressed or she’d do it for me. Knowing she had that orange hot wheel track for a whipping tool motivated me to get up and go. We attended Hyde Park Baptist for a few years till grandma died and there went the motivation. I then, at the age of 16, discovered a fondness for weed, beer and pills. Actually I would try just about anything as long as it took me mentally and spiritually from this town. My cousin was a drug dealer and gave me all I wanted for free; later he would be executed by his supplier for money owed, thus my adoption of my phrase, “There but for the grace of God, go I,”. I managed to do well in school; God blessed me with the ability to sail thorough with little effort or state of mind. If I had a shorthand test I’d take some white crosses, need to come down pop a couple of downers and smoke a joint. It amazed me that my upper middle class parents had no clue. This went on as I watched friends O.D. and go to jail. Some of my girlfriends were raped and abused and once again, “there but for the grace of God, go I.” He saved me through it all as I dodged this and that and then I got pregnant by my 25 year old boyfriend (I was 17) and my fun stopped for a little while. My mother, who was also the Court Clerk of the city court gave my boyfriend two options, marriage or jail, well we were married that September when I was still 17. I spent my honeymoon alone in the first place I had lived away from my parents while my ex went out drinking for three days. He came home and beat me because there were dishes in the sink. He then left again for work while I cried with a black eye washing the dishes. He gave me a choice; I could be a good wife or go home to my “daddy.” Being who I was I refused to run home and became crazy keeping up the house.
My daughter was born 11 days after I turned 18. The labor was quick and uneventful until they gave me a saddle block (epidural now). The intern proceeded to administer the spinal before the attending was in the room, he performed it wrong. I was lying on the table and I noticed my tongue felt wrong, I told the nurse and she just said to do as the doctor said. A few minutes and my heart and lungs stopped working, I coded and died. I have heard the stories; we all have from people who say they have died. Some ring true to me. I floated away from my body looking down as the doctors worked on me and turned to such a wonderful light. I felt warmth that embraced every cell of my body. I saw people who I never met but somehow knew. I kept moving on towards a peaceful place but I could hear my baby crying so I said out loud, “please God I’m not ready, my baby needs me, let me go please.” It was in that instant I fell and woke up. I couldn’t talk or move, I was still paralyzed from the medication. An anesthesiologist had been pounding on my chest and I had two cracked ribs and a huge bruise appeared the next day, had it not been for him who knows. When I went home my grandmother from California was visiting. As both grandmothers sat at the kitchen table I told everyone what happened. I describe the people that I saw and both grandmothers knew who many of the people were there to greet me. I often wonder why, as a sinner, unbaptized and unsaved I was even allowed that glimpse of that blessed place.
Even with the knowledge that God had saved me for some purpose I did not heed his presence. I went on to have my first set of twins. Within three months after their birth I found myself as a single mother of three. Once again my ex went on one of his many drinking sprees and decided he would move to Wagoner with another woman. He had went stray many times, spending his entire check while me and his child scrapped up what we could to eat, or the utilities turned off. I never went to my parent for help; I did not want them to know. After he left I got two jobs to support us, one was in the local VFW. I discovered I still loved to drink and would spend two or three nights a week after work having drinks with parents and their friends. I ended up reconciling with my ex husband and got pregnant again with my fourth child. I had no self esteem and my mother had always said that divorce was a sentence to Hell, the only Catholic belief she passed on. He had become accustomed to drinking as well and we both decided we could not stand each other in that condition and we decided to do something, this was my saving grace. We remarried and decided to live right.
In the beginning of 1983, while pregnant with Mary, my fourth child, we began going to my ex’s family church Vanns Lake in Wagoner County. My ex’s grandfather built and preached at the church. The church was full of his family all attending since they were children. In fact I was the only white person there. Awkward was to put it mildly. They spoke and sang in English and Cherokee. After my daughter was born I began to change. Postpartum depression caused what I called a nervous breakdown. I became anxious and had spells where I could not breathe. I could not take care of my family or lift my baby. I went to stay with my mother with the baby while my mother in law cared for the rest of my family. We would still go to church and I was taking medication but the anxiety was still there.
One Sunday I was in my usual seat and the warmth returned. It was the same warmth I felt years before in that delivery room. I felt the tears come and the sobs were so strong I couldn’t breathe. After the sobs there was a release like no other I had felt. It was as if God reached in and pulled every bad thing from my heart. The bad things my husband had done to me, the way my parents had a lack of caring, the drinking, the drugs, the physical abuse all left. I felt an inner peace that gave me hope. I could not get down the aisle fast enough; in fact the preacher was till preaching. The family all gathered around to pray for me and I cried for what seemed like an hour. I did not want to leave the alter for fear that I would lose that feeling but to my surprise it left with me. I was baptized in the river outside Wagoner the next Sunday. After my baptism I went home and flushed all my meds down the toilet. In the instant that God saved me he healed me. I did not ask for healing, it was his gift to me. It is amazing what God can do.

-De McBride

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Once upon a time in a land far far away called Texas where I was born and raised (lol) by Parents who served faithfully in church and took me with them literally every time the doors were opened! Dad was the music director (song leader) and high school youth director and mom was the middle school director and GA leader! I heard The Word my entire life! I was about 9 yrs old and It was on a Sunday night when several of the older youth went forward and gave their lives to the Lord! I wanted to be like them because I hung out with them all the time, so I went too and gave MY life to the Lord!

I rocked along for several years thinking I had Christ in my life! As most of you know I like sports and I enjoyed playing them! The second game of my freshman year I injured my back and finished out the season! I was having back trouble and had test run and my doctor told me that I was very lucky to be walking much playing sports. He also told me if I was to play and injure it again I would not be walking! I went into hermit mode and deep depression and turned to drinking and became a teenage alcoholic! All the while blaming God for my circumstances! I graduated in the fall of 1979 and started in jr college spring of 1980. A class mate invited me to the BSU and said they had a pool table (which I love and couldn’t pass up lol) it was there I would meet my future wife! He also invited me to her church to hear her sing! What a beautiful voice she had!!

I knew sitting in church listening to her that she had something I was missing and It wasn’t until April 10, 1980 in a lil mission church in San Angelo Tx that I gave my heart to the Lord for real this time! Since that time life has had its ups and downs including losing my wife in a vehicle accident in June 2003 just before starting nursing school!

This one thing I can say with confidence …..

God has been faithful through it all!!!!!

What a mighty God we serve!!!!

-Mark Friemel

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As a 13 year old, I realized all my friends had been baptized. I hadn’t been. I didn’t grow up in church. The bus from First Christian came and picked me and my sister up whenever we wanted to go to church. Yep, I was a bus kid. One Sunday I asked my sister if she would like to get baptized. She did but we had to call home and get permission. Permission was granted so we were baptized at the end of the service. Later that week, the Pastor came out to our house and asked if we would like to be saved. I thought that’s what baptism did. I was really confused. Years later, my sister and I joined First Baptist. We had to be baptized again. It wasn’t until I was a member at Grandview Baptist that I realized that I had actually asked Jesus into my heart AFTER being baptized. The sequence was out of order. I needed to make it right, so I was baptized again.

Many years had passed and my spiritual walk became very stagnant. Stephanie Payne invited me to TBC in December of 2014. Little did I know at the time how God was going to change me. Wow! This last year has been awesome! I’m happy and hopeful for this next year as well.

-Lisa Napier

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We just finished the most precious testimony time with our kids! We shared our testimonies with them (PG versions!;) and then Cade & Carsyn shared theirs! They were shocked to learn a few things they didn’t know about us and we were blessed to hear their innocent hearts speak about Jesus in their lives!!

The first time I walked an aisle to accept Jesus I was in middle school and basically did it to please my dad..because I knew it was the right/good thing to do. There was no change. No relationship.

Some painful life experiences and poor choices fill this space..too much to type BUT….

The next time I walked an aisle to accept Jesus I actually MET HIM THERE! It was one of the famous;) Clint Sinclair revivals at TBC (old bldg)

and he was going on and on about ‘your spot’. I knew I didn’t have one. There was no ‘spot’ that I could hold on to for eternity. No ‘spot’ that I couldn’t be talked out of. No ‘spot’ where I had ever actually encountered Jesus and resigned my life to him..until that night!

It was the night He called me unto Himself and I fully accepted His offer of salvation!!

That’s my spot! Haven’t questioned it since and am SO thankful for all He’s done in my life!!

Thank you TBC for being the hands and feet and heart of Jesus!!

-Courtney Waggle

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-Ali Jones

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I had been raised in a baptist church growing up Boston Avenue after I got married my best friend Janice Slape was going to West side church of Christ ,so my sister and I started going with her.we loved it and met lots of wonderful people.we were there for over 30 years,about the last year I was there I just wasn’t getting anything out of the service, so the last Sunday I was there I knew I wasn’t coming back to worship there and it was a very hard decision I made.i told my daughter Tracy that I was going to find me a different church and not to try and push me into going to her church it was going to have to be my decision.So I’ll never forget the first time I walked in the church I was amazed I could feel the Holy Spirit something I never felt before and I knew from that moment on this was my church. I have never felt so much love in a church before, everyone hugging and so nice I just couldn’t believe it. I believe it was 2003.I love my church it’s the best.i will never forget the night I was saved it was like Jesus sat down beside me on my bed and had a nice come to jesus meeting with me.i told my daughter and son in law what happened,and that was on saturday. I couldn’t wait for Sunday I couldn’t wait to walk the down front this was on May 24 2007 and I was baptized August 5 2007 the best day of my life.

-Betty Snyder

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I was not raised in church but attended occasionally with my grandmother. My parents divorced when I was 5 years old and although I don’t remember much from those days as I’m sure I repressed the memories and pain I still kept a good relationship with my dad. My dad soon remarried and he started attending church regularly in his community and I would go on my weekend visits. one Wednesday night when I was 7 years old the Holy Spirit knew I had been struggling with my parents divorce and knew I needed someone in my life that would always be there no matter what. I was over whelmed with unfamiliar feelings of love. I was a typical young girl that got into trouble every now and then but he was always in my path telling me what was right and wrong. I know it was his relationship with me that kept me going because I was in and out of church thereafter without spiritual guidance or role models from my parents. He has been true to his promise and has always been there for me through every step of my life and I would have to say he has placed me right where I needed to be!

-Mandy Scott

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It took me a long time in life before I surrendered to the Lord. I was 35. I tried many times on my own but could not find Him. I saw Heaven’s Gates and Hell’s Flames. I remember going down and stating I wanted to be saved but there was never a change in my life. I must be really stubborn or slow but it took going through the death of my spouse to be saved. It was during the last 6 weeks of Ronnie’s life that I realized life and death and eternity was real. I remember one time Ronnie told me he saw a bright light and a face. I know it was Jesus calling him home. I was blessed by mercy and grace to witness Ronnie’s experience. We never went to church together but talked about going to Timothy once he got out of the hospital. Ronnie passed away before we got to go together. I started going to Timothy the Sunday after he passed away. I felt at home on day one. I was showered by love and felt I belonged.

For a long long time after he passed away I battled with depression. I used to think depression was a choice. I found out it is NOT a choice and it is real. With time, medication and the Lord I overcame depression. It took a few years and many tears.

Since my salvation I knew I was changed. I no longer needed to try to find God he found me. God has blessed me in so many ways. He gave me a awesome God loving husband. A beautiful daughter that he gave us to adopt. He healed me mentally and physically. I can run stronger, faster and longer than I ever dreamed. I am amazed how he continues to bless.

-Pauline Marks

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I was raised in the Methodist Church, the daughter of the music minister. Unfortunately, the plan of salvation was never made clear to me until I was in college. Dating a “Baptist boy”, and staying in character of pleasing people, I made a decision to follow Christ. I got baptised at FBC Tahlequah, got involved at the BSU at NSU, even did summer missions by serving on the BSU Promotion Team traveling to college towns performing in churches and encouraging high school seniors to get plugged in at the BSU when they go to college.

When I finished class work at NSU, I had a hard time making myself drive to Tahlequah on Sundays to go to church. On 2 different occasions, Lisa Morton and Clint Hayes invited me to visit TBC. I visited in January 1994, joined 2 weeks later.

Fast forward… Kelly was our music minister. In choir practice one evening, Kelly talked about Jesus being your best friend. I couldn’t say that He was. So after practice, I went and talked to Bro. Greg Cox, our pastor. At the end of the service that night I went to the altar, prayed, and went forward making my real salvation public. I got baptized at TBC.

Fast forward again… Kelly was now our pastor. I had been teaching Sunday school, leading the children’s choir, and leading the adult choir. Something was missing. God had really been working on me, but I didn’t realize it until one Sunday morning Kelly was preaching about how closely Judas walked with Jesus but was not sold out to follow Him. As soon as they put the title of the message up on the screen, I knew the message was for me. God pierced my heart like never before and I completely surrendered sitting there in the choir loft. I couldn’t wait for Kelly to hush so I could go down front! And the third time is the charm for me. I was baptized again.

The only question that ever arises in my heart is not whether I’m saved or not, but which time was my day of salvation. My answer always begins with, does it really matter? I’m saved, and I have no doubt! But, I do believe the last time was it. Since that time, my perspective, my motivation (2 of Kenny’s favorite words), who I want to please, how I want to live and who I want to represent, all changed that day I completely surrendered.

My “spot” no longer looks the same (then it was the choir loft, now it is the youth house stage), but it is still the sweetest spot on the world.

I have been blessed with a really good life and have so many people and things I hold very dear to my heart. But absolutely NOTHING compares to the absolute assurance of my salvation.

-Stephanie Payne

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I was saved at the old timothy on Kershaw Nov 6 1996. My life needed a change then and it needs one now. Since then my life has seen it’s ups and downs. Failed marriages, reverting back to old things that didn’t glorify God. Just totally turning away from him. Even when in church was still turning away from him. I’m really just tired of doing things my way and letting my past define how I am today. I’m surrendering to you Lord and your will be done in my life. I’m so ready to fill his peace and guidance in my life. So please be praying that God could still use this ol sinner to further his kingdom.

-Mark Winters

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I was nine years old when I was saved at Eastern Heights Baptist Church. I wasn’t the best kid in high school and drifted away from God. I always knew I was saved but I never had a relationship with God until I lost Cody. After losing Cody I developed a relationship with God that only he and I understood. It still wasn’t the relationship he wanted from me. My family and I walked into Timothy last year, my life has not been the same since. On May 31, 2015 I rededicated my life to God, at that time my wife and I were baptized into the church. I was here every chance I could be with work. I never felt the complete peace of God until last Sunday. I surrendered everything I have to God on January 3. I immediately couldn’t stop crying as he lifted the weight of the world off of my shoulders. I slowed down. I still continue to seek him daily. Its a struggle everyday. I will never carry the weight of the world again.

-Joey Cookson

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“So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God” 2 Timothy 1:8 (NIV).

My mother is a drug addict and alcoholic. She had me when she was 15 years old. She abandoned me at a bar when I was twelve. My father is unknown. I struggled through my adolescent years searching for something to fill the void of abandonment. I searched for acceptance. I searched for these things in the world without success. I knew of Christ and accepted Him into my heart as a child at Victory Christian Center in Tulsa.

It wasn’t until 1997 when I was tired of searching and coming up unsatisfied within the world that Christ became real to me. I was ready to commit suicide one night in the Kmart parking lot on 21st street and highway 169 when Christ spoke to me audibly and told me that my “life would change if I would follow Him.” I could not believe what I had heard and as soon as I had this thought He spoke again saying the exact words, “Follow Him.” I threw the broken glass bottle out of the window of my car and drove home. The following Sunday I rededicated my life and accepted salvation and forgiveness and I became a member of Church On The Move. My life has changed immeasurably and my relationship with my Lord and Savior grows stronger everyday. I would not be where I am today if it were not for my Faith in God and my salvation.

He loves us.

-Angela Martindale

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I was saved when I was 7 years old after church one Sunday sitting on the deck with my parents asking questions about things I had heard in Sunday School and church. I have never doubted my salvation nor thought it wasn’t real because I was young. I’ve always been 100% certain.

?#?kingdomgrowers?

-Jenny Jamison

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As a child, my parents took me and my brother to church faithfully.  During middle school and high school, we stopped attending as a family.  I ended up joining a sister church without my parents when I was 16, and could drive myself to services.  I made several “decisions” along the way for Christ, but none of them seemed to make a difference in my life.  My “real” day of salvation was September 25, 2011.  I was 28 years old.

My parents divorced when I was 10 years old.  I was in 4th grade.  At the time, I just thought it was for the best, and the fighting would finally stop.  However, it wasn’t until later on when I realized how much my parents’ divorce would affect me.  I hated the whole two Christmases, two birthdays idea that came along with a broken family.  The one thing I clung to was the fact that regardless of their feelings for each other, both of my parents loved me.  After their divorce, my dad never darkened the door of another church that I know of.  My mom tried to take us to church on her weekends.  We were never really involved in the ministry of the church, we just attended when we could.

In December 1993, my mom remarried to a wonderful man.  My brother and I were not good to him.  We were disrespectful and defiant of any of his attempts to help “parent” us.  It was a big undertaking to marry a woman with two “crazy” kids.  Yet, he stayed.  November 15, 1995, my world crumbled.  My dad died suddenly of a massive heart attack at the age of 38.  While he may not have darkened another church door, I know without a doubt that he was a Christian.  I found further proof of this one day while flipping through his Bible.  He had notes and pictures of my brother and I from recent years in it.  Through the loss of my Dad, my Papa Muriel Holder, Granny Phyllis Holder, Uncle Raymond (Bud) Holder, and Aunt Sherry Holder all committed their lives to Christ.

In 2002, I was in college, living on my own.  I was not attending church anymore.  My Grandma Norma Holdridge and my mom suggested that I try out Timothy Baptist Church.  My Grandma and Grandpa had recently joined and they loved it.  I came and visited, and knew after the first service that this was where I was supposed to attend.  Little did I know what I would be in store for here!

In June 2003, my Papa Muriel Holder passed away.  He suffered from Dementia.  Now he is in the presence of Jesus (and my daddy)!

In 2004, my mom and step-dad moved to Sedalia, MO.  I felt totally alone during the process of moving them out of state.  After 21 years of having them in the same town, it was very hard for me to let them go.  I later married my husband, Michael, and 11 months later, we had our son, Steven.  We moved to Gore, OK, and our church attendance stopped.  My excuse was that we didn’t have the gas money to come to Muskogee for church, but I certainly wasn’t open to attending any of the local churches either.  By 2008, we decided that we needed to move back to Muskogee to be closer to our jobs (and church).  We lucked out and moved next door to very loving and caring neighbors (Rick and Devonna Parson).  After the move I started attending church every time the doors were open.  I joined the choir in June 2009.

In December 2009, I got a severe headache.  This went on for over 5 days, so I decided to call the doctor.  He ordered a CT scan to make sure there wasn’t anything there that wasn’t supposed to be.  The doctors found 3 venous sinus thrombosis.  I was in ICU at Saint Francis for 3 days.  After a series of genetic testing, it was found that I have 2 gene mutations that cause hyper-coagulation.  Hence, I was put on blood thinners and told to get an MRI every few years to check the status of the clots.  They were pretty pessimistic about them ever fully dissolving, but wanted to make sure nothing formed into an aneurysm.

By summer 2010, I was growing tired, and burnt out on serving at church, but I never stopped serving no matter how much I wanted to quit.  That same summer, my adopted brother made some very poor choices, and destroyed trust, and badly damaged my relationship with my family, including my mom.  I was mad at her, my brother, and anyone who wanted to take their side.  I was mad at God for not protecting my family.  The more I tried to “fix it,” the worse things got.  I didn’t speak to my mom for 3 solid months.  I’m not proud of that.  During all the hurt and frustration of this situation, in August, my Grandpa Jack Holdridge passed away.  He also suffered from Dementia.  This disease is a horrible way to lose someone you love.  All the hurt, anger, loss, caused everyone in my life to suffer.  My work suffered too.  I finally just gave up.  I didn’t even want to fix things anymore.  Things were just going to be the way they were.  I had accepted that fact.  I was just a mad, bitter person who attended church.

On September 25, 2011, Stephanie Payne gave her testimony during the service.  After a few minutes of her talking, I just wanted her to sit down so I could take care of my business with God.  I knew I was terribly lost, and would split Hell wide open if I died that day.  During the invitation, I went down front and prayed with Steph.  I meant what I prayed with my whole heart…with my whole being.  I wanted the blood transfusion so many people had talked about.  I got it that day!!!  Jesus’ saving Grace poured over my heart that day.  I will never forget it!!

So what’s my life like now since I have Jesus?  Well, shortly after I was saved, I was baptized with my son who had been saved earlier that year at an Easter production at another church.  God started showing out.  By Christmas, my family and I had come to some common ground, and the healing/forgiving process had begun.  It was a long road, but God restored my relationships with my mom, and my other family.  I would say that I have forgiven my brother for his poor choices, but we don’t have dinner every week.  In fact, I haven’t spoken to him in a few years.  I do hope he finds some kind of happiness and surprises me by the kind of man he becomes.  Looking back at my parents’ divorce, I feel that God allowed that to happen, because he was going to take my daddy home.  My step-dad did not replace my dad, but he did step in and just be there for us.  I owed him an apology for how I treated him as a child.  Now I make an effort to tell him how much he means to me regularly.  On March 4, 2016, I had a follow up MRI on my brain to see about the blood clots.  I prayed that God would intervene and heal me the weeks leading up to the MRI.  I got the results, and the blood clots are GONE!!!  I WAS HEALED!!!!  There is still some white matter, but that’s just evidence of what used to be there.  My God healed the wound but he left a scar.  He is so faithful, so merciful!  I don’t deserve his Grace and Mercy.  Today, I am filled with His Spirit, and while I still fail him every day, I just keep asking for another chance, and He keeps giving them to me.  He loves me unconditionally.  I am so happy to have a father who loves me like that!  Serving at church adds to my relationship with God.  It is not my whole relationship….church alone cannot get you to heaven.  The best part is that I am no longer serving in my own strength, but in His strength, which is perfect.  All in all, I know I won’t be complete until the day I reach Glory, but I’m content being work in progress for now.

-Crystal Cheater